Porcelain Epiphanies

Does anyone else find that they do their best thinking while taking the Browns to the Superbowl (or as we mining folk like to say, dumping a load of coarse reject)?

Early last week during a discussion, someone asked, "How many people here consider themselves to be better-than-average winter drivers?"

A myriad of arms were raised.

"Hmmm; so two thirds of us think we are better than half of us..."

The person's point was that people generally consider themselves to be better than the majority at something, which is probably a valid assumption.

Setting aside the fact that yours truly is certainly better than average when it comes to winter driving ;), it was later, while stocking the pond with Brown trout, that I had a sudden epiphany regarding why the vast majority of today's publicly traded companies are so horrendously managed.

It all seemed so simple, and I felt like an idiot for not realizing this rather basic concept years ago:

If you take a cross-section of the general population, and look at their financial habits (i.e., basically watch an episode of 'Til Debt Do Us Part), there is absolutely no reason to expect a cross-section of the senior management at any large organization to look any different.

Therefore, while an incredibly depressing realization, this provides a very solid explanation as to why so many top-income earners and corporate types have net worths that rank near most panhandlers, and run their companies accordingly (always maximize the short term at the expense of tomorrow and every day after).

It also provides one with a stark realization of just how difficult it is to find a well-run company to work for, these days.  There are very few of us left out there who recognize the importance of planning beyond the next 5 minutes and lack lines of credit, high-ratio mortgages, and matching Escalades, and even fewer of us high up enough anywhere to affect any sort of change.  Discipline, consistency, and long-term time horizons just aren't sexy.

I'm fairly certain that these types of people all end up running small businesses, like restaurants, where the competition and stakes are much higher than the subsidized, corporate-welfare world.  As any episode of Undercover Boss will show you, it takes merely a pulse, a couple of lungs, and a condescending view of those beneath you to be a CEO. Contrast this with the giant set of brass cojones it takes to be an actual businessman -- that is, to risk your own capital and then depend on your venture for survival.

Too many of us are dieting with amphetamines, buying male enhancement drugs, and sending our gold jewelery in for cash to pay this month's interest on our credit cards.

Somehow, I don't think I'm the corporate type...